Week 8: The Week of the Mulligan
Every week, it’s the same story. One of us, maybe even a few of us, go through this obsessive, borderline neurotic ritual. We spend days agonizing over our lineups, scrolling through stats, diving down Reddit rabbit holes, and listening to podcasts by “experts” who are more often than not, just as clueless as we are. And then, after all that effort, after turning the same lineup decisions over in our heads like we’re actually getting paid to do this, we still manage to get it completely wrong on Sunday.
Sometimes, the decision-making chaos is due to the classic bye-week disaster. You’re left with a bench full of questionable backup running backs, searching through obscure stats and wondering which one might luck into a red-zone carry or two. Other times, it’s that overconfident voice in your head saying, *Let’s shake things up.* So, you swap out your third wide receiver who’s been consistently mediocre, hoping that this minor “promotion” will somehow inspire him to play like he knows he’s in your starting lineup. It’s irrational, of course, but if you play fantasy long enough, you start believing these players sense your faith in them. And then, of course, there’s the classic blunder: just forgetting to set your lineup altogether. You’re watching the games unfold, and it hits you—there’s that one guy you meant to start, sitting there on your bench, outscoring everyone else in your lineup combined. That’s when you look to the sky and think, “Really? Is this how I’m going to lose??” (this happened to me this week)
Usually, this whole mess lands on one unlucky soul each week. He’s the guy scrolling through the group chat Monday morning, pleading his case and wistfully asking the gods for a do-over, as if any of us have the power to grant fantasy mulligans (more on this later). But this week? This week, that gnawing sense of regret, that feeling like you just left your winning lottery ticket at the gas station—it hit multiple owners. And, listen, it’s usually no one is at fault. Who could’ve known that Tyrone Tracy, who was practically invisible all season, would randomly decide to show up in Week 5? But this week, it wasn’t just bad luck; we saw some lineup decisions that were practically begging for disaster. So let’s break down the carnage, because some of these choices… well, they might just go down as cautionary tales.
The Truth Hurts
I get it Ken Dawg. Jalen hasn’t been living up to his full potential this season. So Kenny decided to bench his season-long starter and promote the up-and-coming rookie, Caleb Williams against Washington. Caleb was starting to ball out here and there and Kenny thought he’d catch that fantasy flame. But that shit is burnt out. Caleb got Kenny a whopping 9.34 points, all while Hurts scored a season-high 35.14 points! Add to that that Ser Kenneth benched Buffalo’s defense for his beloved NY Jets, leaving an additional 8 points to his spread. Those two small choices had a large impact, causing Kenny to lose his matchup against Will.
Original Matchup: Ken - 93.14 | Will - 123.5
Optimal Lineup: Kenny - 127.44 | Will - 123.5
Not your MVP
In last week’s review, I named Mayfield the fantasy MVP for the first half of the season and applauded Mel for this acquisition. I also suggested that Mel might sit Mayfield for Burrow in the coming matchup since both Godwin and Evans were out for the game… strategy executed :-) Mel sat Mayfield and watched his quarterback score 24.3 points on his bench, while Burrow amassed a flimsy 13.86 in his starting lineup. He furthered his mismanagement by starting Brock Bowers over George Kittle, and obviously did no research to see how Kittle has consistently annihilated the Cowboys in recent regular and postseason matchups. This left another 21.8 point on his bench. It seems the voodoo magic is waning on Mel.
Original Matchup: Mel - 99.26 | Steve - 121.12
Optimal Matchup: Mel - 123.2 | Steve - 121.12
This One’s Gotta Sting
I’m not sure anyone even knows who this is by face alone, but this man was the difference between the spoils of victory and the agony of defeat in our league’s most coveted rivalry between Dre and Dunc. His name: Zach Ertz. It seems as though Dre has been toggling between Ertz and the Steelers’ Pat Freiermuth all season in his lineup. Unfortunately, this was the wrong call Sunday. Freirmuth didn’t catch a pass until the second half Sunday night and ended the game with just 2.9 points. Meanwhile, Ertz secured 11.2 points on Dre’s bench; an 11.2 points that would’ve been the difference maker for Dre in what I’m sure was a win that he wanted badly.
Original Matchup: Dre - 124.32 | Dunc - 132.26
Optimal Matchup: Dre - 132.62 | Dunc - 132.26
So what do we do with this information? Is there a fix, a solution, or do we need to throw a wrench in the system next season to spice up the league even more? I propose the competition committee to “mull” this over: a mulligan. Each season, there’s always that one time during a game where a starter gets injured in the first half, or a guy on our bench unbelievably scores two touchdowns in the first quarter, leaving that owner wishing he had a chance to readjust his lineup. I suggest … we give him that option. Each season, every owner gets one mulligan to use at his will. Just once - an opportunity to adjust your lineup after the game has started. You can only use it once, and you can only use it with one player. I’m sure Lance would’ve loved to put Isaac Guerendo in his lineup after Jordan Mason went down with a shoulder injury in the beginning of the second quarter. I almost lost to Claude when I realized I never switched out my kickers after Brandon Aubrey’s bye week last week. I would’ve jumped off a bridge if the difference between a win and a loss this Sunday was due to me not starting a kicker. It’s not something I’m dead set on, and there would have to be many parameters set in place, but it’s something to discuss in the offseason.
Until then boys, keep plugging away. This week is over, and a new week is upon us. Set your matchups accordingly.
